Previously, I talked about how Feng Shui can be used to help improve relationships and also about the meaning of ‘relationship’ in classical Feng Shui. Feng Shui certainly can bring about positive effects for individuals facing problems with relationships.
But it is important to remember that classical Feng Shui is not just about improving one’s love life, nor is it ‘love voodoo’ that can be used to make someone fall in love with another person. It is about improving your interactions with people in general, so as to help overcome problems such as back-stabbing, lack of support at work, hostility in a business or personal relationship, enabling an amicable ending to a personal or business relationship and also, to smoothen out dealings with people around you.
So, let’s look at some simple methods to help improve your personal relationships with those around you, through Feng Shui. I will also talk about how your BaZi can help shed light on relationship-related issues.
Tapping into Yan Nian
One of the easiest techniques that almost anyone can use to help improve their personal relationship is tapping into the Yan Nian direction. If you will remember from last week’s article, Yan Nian is the direction derived from the transformation of the BaGua and the Early Heaven Combination of Ten. Yan Nian is the direction where Yin and Yang Qi are perfectly balanced, thus, creating ideal energies for developing healthy, positive people-to-people relationships and also, to calm emotions and bring balance.
We all have a personal Yan Nian direction and it is derived based on the person’s Life Gua. So for example, if you are Li Gua, then your Yan Nian direction is North. If you are Gen Gua, then your Yan Nian direction is West.
Once you have determined your personal Yan Nian direction, tap into the Qi in this direction. If you are facing relationship problems at work with colleagues or superiors, try locating your work desk to face this direction. If it is more family or personal relationships that you are having trouble with, then try to adjust the direction of your bed so that your head sleeps pointing in the direction of Yan Nian.
If you find that you cannot align your bed in the direction of Yan Nian or you cannot change the position of your desk, then see if you can make use of the Yan Nian sector of your house. To find the Yan Nian sector of your house, you will need to first know the Facing Direction of the house. Once you have ascertained the Facing Direction of your house, find the Qi map that corresponds to your house.
To help improve and enhance your personal relationships, use the particular room for reading, working, as a bedroom or just try to spend more time in this sector. Remember, in Feng Shui, we do not always need to ‘put’ objects nor do we always have to think about ‘activating’ the Qi. Being in the room and spending time in the room, where there is positive Qi or the kind of Qi we want to make use of is also a means in which to make use of Feng Shui.
For those of you with some familiarity of Flying Stars, the Annual Star #4 can also be used to help foster and improve relationships. For the year 2006, the #4 star is in the NW sector. In 2007, it flies into the W sector and in 2008, it can be found in the NE sector.
Now, you might be wondering at this point, how does facing a certain direction or sleeping with your head towards a certain direction help with relationships?
Direction is one of the primary methods used in Feng Shui to tune into a particular type of Qi, whether it is the person that is trying to tune into that type of energy, of the property. This is because different types of Qi reside at different locations so by being at the location or facing that direction, we are trying to tap that particular type of energy. That is why you find that in Feng Shui, the orientation of the property is of paramount importance. Similarly, when an individual is trying to make use of certain energies, they do so by either being in a particular location in the house, or by sleeping in or facing that direction.
You might also be wondering why Feng Shui practitioners frequently make reference to sleeping in a particular location (for example, a South room) or sleeping with your head facing a particular direction. It’s quite simple – most people spend between 8-12 hours sleeping and resting. So it makes sense to make use of that time to tap into useful and helpful energies. Otherwise, those 8-12 hours are literally just spent sleeping!
The Peach Blossom Factor
Now, whenever the subject of relationships is discussed, ‘Peach Blossom’ always crops up. Almost everyone out there knows about or has heard about ‘Peach Blossom’ (Tao Hua). It has to its great misfortune, acquired a rather needlessly scandalous reputation. If some of the things written about Peach Blossom are to be believed, it is the reason for husbands straying, and also the sole saviour of single women out there! So let’s understand what exactly Peach Blossom is and how it relates to relationships.
The term ‘peach blossom’ comes from Chinese imagery and poetry, which associates the ‘peach blossom’ flower with love and romance. So when the Chinese people say, a person is going through ‘Peach Blossom Luck’, it is a short form way of saying, they are having a lot of luck with the opposite sex.
In both Feng Shui and BaZi, ‘Peach Blossom’ is a type of star. Sometimes, if for some reason, the Yan Nian sector, or the #4 star is not usable in a house, then the Feng Shui consultant may suggest the use of Water to activate the Peach Blossom star direction for that property. The mis-interpretation of this technique is probably what led to the misguided ‘vase with flowers’ technique for enhancing one’s love life luck. It is not the vase, or the flowers, but the Water and Wood element that is doing the work.
This technique is not always recommended because using the Peach Blossom star direction of the house triggers Peach Blossom for every resident in the house, and not just the person who needed the help. Also, if too much Water is used, Peach Blossom Sha may become the problem, and Peach Blossom creates hassles rather than brings about positive effects.
The Code of Attraction
In the study of BaZi, there is also a Peach Blossom star. How does this star manifest? Well, I’m sure you know of some people who naturally enjoy good personal relationships with people. Someone who is very ‘smooth’, has that magic touch when it comes to dealing with people. These are people who no one says a bad word about and who could probably charm the birds from the trees! They have a way of calming angry people, soothing the upset and irate and can make people feel at ease with them. And generally, these people also enjoy particularly good relationships with the opposite sex. They are not always handsome or good-looking mind you but somehow, they have a certain attraction factor, a certain magnetism.
These are people who usually have Peach Blossom stars in their personal BaZi chart. Politicians, rock stars, actors and individuals in the public eye will usually need to have a little Peach Blossom in their BaZi to help them with their endeavours.
A person with Peach Blossom in their personal BaZi chart tends to easily attract attention from the opposite sex and have a way with people, including the opposite sex. Now, romance of course, probably comes a bit easier to these people because people naturally are attracted to them. But, that does not mean that they always attract the people that they actually like or also attracted to! Sometimes, the feeling is not mutual! Also, too much Peach Blossom in a BaZi chart is also unfavourable – it leads to Peach Blossom hassles.
If you have a Peach Blossom star in your BaZi, then you probably don’t need to use Feng Shui to enhance your appeal. However, if you don’t have a Peach Blossom star in your BaZi and you are having relationship problems, whether at work or in your personal life, then it might be an idea to look to tap into Yan Nian, to help smoothen and build the relationships.
These are of course quite simple and elementary techniques you can make use of to improve relationships but also, understand where your relationship issues may be. But at the end of the day, too much or too little attraction should never be the issue. Being attractive is just one part of the equation when it comes to relationships. Building and managing your relationship is just as important. And that isn’t about Feng Shui or BaZi, but about you.